Letters to a Young Artist

Anna Deavere Smith's book, Letters to a Young Artist, was a text that I not only enjoyed but I was able to connect with on a number of levels. I found the text interesting from the beginning, but once I began reading her chapter on fear, it became more than interesting; it became instructing and directive, and directly applicable to me and many situations I find myself in on a daily basis.


In order to properly express why her advice on fear speaks to me on such a personal level, some background information needs to be provided. I have always been an anxious, somewhat nervous person, but for the greater part of my life, was able to channel my fears and anxiety in productive way. I was so nervous that I would forget to do a homework assignment that I would complete it the day it was assigned; similarly, I was so terrified to fail a test or make bad grades that I over studied and went far above and beyond whatever task my teacher had assigned. In October of 2002, during my junior year of high school, my older brother died as the result of an overdose. I had always been close with him, but his death didn't affect me nearly as much as watching the misery my mother was in as a result of his death did. She was always cheerful, bubbly, and charismatic; she embodied the stereotype of a doting, coddling mother. After Glenn died, she became withdrawn and sullen and although her love for me was always apparent, she simply was never the same.


This alone wasn't enough to propel me to any self-destructive or self-deprecating behavior. It was when my mother died during my junior year at the University of Florida that my entire outlook and demeanor changed. The anxiety and nervousness that I had harbored my whole life took over all other emotions, thoughts, and intentions that I had. In retrospect, I realize this was because my mother always represented security to me. She was so coddling and loving, and I knew that as long as she was around, nothing too awful could happen to me because she always had and always would bail me out.

Two years later, I am still going through the healing process, and although I am able to cope and deal with the emotions that still emerge when I think about my mom, the fear and anxiety that consumed me immediately after my mother's death still lingers and effects me.

This is why when I got to the chapter in Smith's book entitled "Fear" my attention was immediately piqued. I especially appreciate how, instead of focusing on the fear itself that we all have in some way to some degree, she focuses on how to build up strength and confidence to make it easier to work through fear. Her analogy that she refers to throughout the book, comparing building strength, stamina, and endurance by swimming laps to preparing yourself emotionally and physically for the obstacles you will undoubtedly encounter as a young artist is one that I not only find applicable to my life as a writer and literary critic, but to my personal and emotional life I live outside of the classroom, when my mind is racing so fast that I find it impossible to read or write or do anything else but sit down and collect my emotions and thoughts.

I also found her chapter on alienation engaging because, the way I interpreted it, we share similar views on the subject. A trend I've noticed among many people in my age group is the tendency to believe that an artist loses their authenticity or credibility unless they're reclusive and rebellious, rejecting societal norms and, instead of working together, competing against one other with somewhat elitist attitudes. Smith talks about the "romanticizing" of the alienation and loneliness many young artists experience when in reality, an audience doesn't care about their angst and pain unless it somehow relates to them or they can connect to it somehow. Instead of being full of angst, lonely, or melancholy, its much more productive to channel that energy into something creative that will appeal to others. Much of her book deals with personal presence; how to carry yourself and be noticed in a room full of people without being obnoxious. This goes hand in hand with those ideas in that the next step to networking and socializing is to be likable and friendly, and no one wants to listen to someone condescendingly moan and groan all the time. This also relates to the aforementioned fear chapter considering that confidence and presence go hand in hand. If you are able to productively and appropriately express your emotions and feelings, you will be able to cope with them while maintaining your professionalism.

In short, Letters to a Young Artist was a treat for me to read, as most of the literature I study is from the Medieval and Renaissance eras. That will always be my favorite genre, however, it is always great to find an entertaining, instructive, well-written contemporary book that directly applies to my life and future. Smith's book is something I would not only recommend to someone who is studying the arts; its overall theme and messages apply to almost any real-world situation and I feel as though anyone has much to gain by reading this novel.

Introduction to Me

Aside from the angsty, pointless rambling I used to post on my live journal account in high school for my friends to see, I have never actively kept up with a blog or journal of any kind. I enjoy being me, however, I don't necessarily feel that my life's events are important or interesting enough to share with the world. That being said, I have decided to post this introduction to me because, although everything I previously said still stands, you all are forced to read this. Besides, since we all have to work together, you all may as well know where I come from, what I do, and why a UF cheerleader who loves to shop and tan would ever major in English Lit.

The literature that I absolutely love to read and analyze mostly comes from the Medival and Renaissance eras. Why? Because there are a number of things I love in the world, and some of the biggest things, such as religion and politics, are greatly represented in this era of literature. I struggle with religion because I have an unwavering belief in God (as I know Him), however, I was raised Catholic. I go to church with my father every Sunday to spend time with him and keep the family tradition alive, but my beliefs generally differ from what the Catholic church teaches. As far as government and politics go, I love studying and being active in the political world and U.S. politics in general. I believe we live in the most amazing country in the world but that our government no longer stands up for and practices the values outlined in our constitution. I plan on attending law school and getting my LLM (which is a masters degree in law) in International Law and going on to work in government and/or politics. Just like everyone else, I want to make a difference in this world and especially our amazing country; what I feel like sets me apart from everyone else is that I have the drive and ambition to do whatever it takes to get there.

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I graduated in 2004 from Chamberlain High School in Tampa. Ever since I was little I wanted to be a Gator and remember the day I received my acceptance letter from UF as one of the best in my life. I became very active at UF, joining the cheerleading team, Delta Phi Epsilon, and student government, the pinnacle of which I was the Director of Solicitations on the cabinet, reporting directly to the vice president. I worked with local and national corporations, convincing them to advertise on campus and in UF publications in order to keep tuition costs down.

My D Phi E Family :)

The event that has changed my life the most is my mother's death in 2007. When she died, it made me shut down in many ways, and I had an extremely time accepting it, much less coping with it. I chose to take some time off from school and ultimately decided to move back home and transfer to USF. As much as I loved Gainesville and UF, I needed to be with my father and brother and long-time friends. My time at home has been well spent, and I am excited to be back in school.

Me and my flier after she assulated my leg (by accident of course).

In short, I have lived out some of my biggest dreams and I have suffered some really awful tragedies, but most important is the fact that I am still working towards my goals. I don't exactly fit the mold of most English majors but I love reading and writing and I hope to find great success in this class and the internship it comes with. After thinking about it, although it scares the crap out of me, the internship we now have to experience and put on our resumes is one that many people would die for, and I am going to make the most of it so that I can get the maximum out of it. I look forward to working with everyone and attending/orchestrating some really cool events together. Later this week I will be posting about our assigned reading... this post was mainly for me to learn how this works and introduce myself to everyone and now that I know how easy it is, I look forward to blogging in the future!